#bc it literally takes 15 minutes to put them in

[deadpooly]

braces appointment tomorrow except i literally havent worn elastics like once this cycle

[bibleofficial]

i just think it’s funny that raspberry pi seems to plan their releases around that of apple’s

[inseobts]

hiiii! first of all, i love your fics sm!! i love the way you write Law 💙 can i request a fic with BIG LOSER Law? lmaooo like, maybe they go on their first date and he's so awkward and nervous. he has everything planned out but nothing is going according to plan so he's stressing constantly, or the crew is watching him trying to flirt w reader and they get second hand embarrassment (tbh anything you want to write is fine, just make him suffer a little bit bc i think it's funny)

Captain Loser

law × gn!reader

a/n: I tried my best to keep him in character — I hope I did a good job!

words count: 3.5k

tags: fluff, humor, awkward first date, loser law

masterlist || ao3 || ko-fi

Law is calm during battles.

Law is calm in surgeries.

Law is not calm when you say, “Sure, I’d love to go on a date with you.”

And now, he’s pacing in his room like a man being hunted.

“Captain,” Bepo says gently, poking his head into Law’s room “You’ve been… changing your coat for the past 15 minutes.”

Law stops, eyes wild “Which one makes me look more—” he stops. Then corrects himself “Never mind.”

Bepo blinks “More what?”

“…Like I’m not dying inside.”

Bepo nods solemnly “Go with the dark one, it's your color.”

The “date” starts with Law arriving twenty minutes early. Not because he’s eager, of course (he is.)

You show up with a smile, looking relaxed and easy-going, and Law immediately forgets how to stand like a normal person. He moves like someone’s remote-controlling him from across the street.

“You look good” he says.

You blink “Thanks! So do you.”

He dies.

Inside.

Law has a plan. It’s written in his notebook.

Literally.

He wrote a plan.

Phase 1: Get snacks from that café in town.

Phase 2: Walk by the docks.

Phase 3: Compliment them. Not weirdly. Normal compliment.

Phase 4: If going well, offer to take them stargazing. If rejected, die.

Simple.

Except that phase 1 explodes immediately.

The café is closed“Temporarily for repairs” the sign says.

Law stares at the sign like it personally betrayed him “This wasn’t in the plan” he mutters.

You peek over his shoulder “We can just get something from a stall?”

He hesitates. That’s not in the plan. That’s not in the plan.

But you’re smiling, so he nods “Right. Improvising. Yeah. I can do that.”

(He can’t do that)...

Meanwhile, across the street Shachi, Penguin, and Bepo are hiding behind barrels. Watching.

“He’s sweating” Shachi whispers.

Penguin squints “Can he even sweat? Is that medically possible for him?”

Bepo sighs “I don’t think he blinked in five minutes.”

Back on the date, Law is now trying to eat takoyaki. He stabs one with a stick, offers it to you, and then, mid-movement, panics.

“Wait—are you allergic to anything? Shellfish? Octopus? Gluten??”

You laugh “Nope. I’m good.”

“…Okay.” He hesitates “Do you want this one, or should I—”

“I’ll take it.”

Back behind the barrels, Penguin falls to the ground “I can’t watch this.”

By the time you’re strolling along the docks (Phase 2 is back on track!), Law is a wreck. Internally. Externally he still has that serious Captain face on.

“You don’t… date often, do you?” you ask, amused.

Law’s steps falter.

“…Is it that obvious?” he mutters.

You bump his shoulder lightly “Just a little. But it’s cute.”

Cute..........

You just called him........ cute.

Someone please sedate him.

He clears his throat “You’re… uh. You’re not bad yourself.”

You laugh “Was that a compliment?”

He looks away “Kind of.”

You grin “I’ll take it.”

Behind a stack of crates, Shachi is losing his mind “SOMEONE PUT HIM OUT OF HIS MISERY.”

“HE SAID ‘NOT BAD YOURSELF’—WHO EVEN SAYS THAT?!” Penguin wheezes.

Bepo watches calmly “I think it’s going well.”

“…Are we watching the same date?”

You’re sitting on the dock now, feet dangling over the edge, watching the sky turn orange. The date hasn’t gone the way Law planned.

Which is exactly the problem.

He stands next to you like he’s guarding treasure. Except he’s not relaxed. He’s tense. Like he expects an ambush.

From the moon.

“So…” you say, glancing up at him “You always this quiet?”

Law hesitates “I’m… thinking.”

“About?”

“…Phase Four.”

“Phase what?”

He freezes “Nothing.”

You narrow your eyes “Law. Did you… plan this date like a battle?”

He clears his throat “No.”

“…You definitely did.”

He changes the subject. Badly “Do you like… stars?”

Meanwhile, behind a crate about 50 feet away, Shachi has his binoculars out.

“They’re sitting. It’s happening. Phase Four is happening.”

Bepo nods, whispering, “Do you think he’ll kiss them?”

Shachi nearly drops the binoculars “No way. No way. He’d combust.”

Penguin has snacks now “What if y/n kisses him first?”

There’s a beat of silence.

They all go, in unison: “He’d die.”

Back at the dock, you lean back on your hands “Stars are nice. But I like hearing you talk about things you like.”

Law blinks. That wasn’t in the plan.

“…Like medicine?” he asks cautiously.

“Sure.”

“Anatomy?”

You raise a brow “Within reason.”

He exhales slowly “What about… the ocean?”

“See?” you say “You’re doing fine.”

“I don’t think so.”

You tilt your head “Are you nervous?”

“…Extremely.”

You smile.

That’s when you both hear it.

“PENGUIN, GET YOUR FOOT OFF MY HEAD—”

Law stiffens “Wait.”

There’s rustling. A loud clunk. Then “SHHHHHHH!! THEY CAN HEAR US—”

Law turns slowly. You follow his gaze.

A barrel tips over.

Three grown men—one bear, two idiots—collapse into the open like spilled groceries.

“…Oh my god,” you whisper “Were they SPYING on us?!”

Law’s eye twitches.

Shachi pops up “Captain!! Don’t be mad!! We were just—uh—moral support!!”

Bepo waves sheepishly “You were doing great until now!”

Penguin gives you a thumbs-up from the ground “You’re really cute together!”

Law looks like he’s going to murder someone.

You, meanwhile, are wheezing.

“They were there the whole time?!” you gasp, laughing “How long have they been WATCHING?”

Shachi: “Since before the takoyaki.”

Penguin: “Since coat number three.”

Law: “…I’m going to kill you.”

Bepo: “But gently, right?”

You stand up and tug Law’s sleeve. He glances down at you, still visibly unamused.

“I thought it was cute” you say “Your plan. The awkward flirting. All of it.”

He stares “Even this?”

You grin “Especially this.”

His ears turn pink.

Later that night…

Law storms into the crew quarters.

“Meeting. Now.”

They scramble to attention.

He points at each of them “You are banned from surveillance. No more binoculars. No more hiding behind barrels. If I see a single one of you during a private moment again, I will operate your limbs off and sew them back wrong.”

Shachi gulps “Got it.”

Penguin: “Totally fair.”

Bepo: “What about just listening—?”

Law: “Bepo.”

“…Okay. Sorry.”

He turns to leave, coat flapping dramatically—until Shachi calls out “Wait! Did you at least kiss them?!”

Law pauses in the doorway. Silent. Then closes the door behind him.

In the hallway, alone, he leans against the wall, covers his face, and mutters “…Next time.”

Breakfast on the Polar Tang is loud.

Penguin and Shachi are fighting over eggs. Bepo is carefully peeling an orange like it’s surgery. The table’s full—shoulders bumping, chopsticks clattering, someone laughing every five seconds.

You walk in, hair still messy, and Law is already seated at the end.

He looks up the second you enter.

“Morning” you say, rubbing your eye.

He nods, quietly “Morning.”

You take the empty seat beside him.

On the other end of the table, someone yells, “Hey—who took the last piece of cake?!”

You glance up. Sure enough there’s one perfect square of fluffy, cream-filled strawberry shortcake sitting on a plate near the middle. Or rather was sitting.

In one clean, lightning-fast movement, Law grabs it and slides it across the table.

In front of you.

He doesn’t look at you. Doesn’t explain. Just keeps drinking his black coffee like he didn’t just commit pastry theft.

You stare at him.

Then at the cake.

Then back at him.

“You like it” he says again, like that explains everything.

Which… it does. Kind of.

You blink fast and look away, trying not to smile too hard. He’s always the type to do something so sweet.

But then he notices your cup’s empty and, without saying anything, reaches over and refills it from the kettle. Still not looking at you. Still completely casual. Like it's just part of his morning routine.

Your brain short-circuits.

...And it gets worse.

A piece of hair falls into your face. You're about to push it back, but he does it first—absentminded, fingers brushing your temple like it’s nothing.

Like it’s normal. Like it’s just something he’s allowed to do.

You stop breathing for a second.

Law, meanwhile, is already slicing into an omelet, entirely unaware that he’s killing you one tiny gesture at a time.

You take a bite of the cake, cheeks warm.

It’s perfect...Of course it is.

Later, as you’re both standing up to clear plates, you bump shoulders.

“Thanks” you murmur.

“For what?”

“The cake. The tea. The hair thing. All of it.”

He looks at you for a second but then his gaze flicks from your eyes to your mouth and back again.

“…Wasn’t a big deal.”

“It kinda is.”

He blinks. Tilts his head a little.

You smile “You’re a lot cuter when you’re not trying so hard, y’know.”

He frowns “I wasn’t trying before.”

“Exactly.”

You pat his arm, grab your dish, and head toward the sink.

Behind you, he stands there, stuck in place.

Then mutters to himself “…Cuter?”

After breakfast you’re chatting with Bepo about the latest island rumors, sitting at the mess table again. Law’s standing nearby, arms crossed, pretending to read a report. But he keeps looking up every time you laugh. Every time you tilt your head, or say his name, or look like you might say something else.

He’s not subtle.

Not even a little.

You don’t call him out for it. You like it. The fact that he’s choosing to just be around you, even if he pretends he isn’t.

He’s calmer now than he was on your first date. Less fidgety. Less stressed. And way more dangerous because of it.

Like right now, he glances up from his report, sees you rubbing your shoulder absently, and immediately sets the paper down.

“You okay?”

You blink “Yeah, just slept weird.”

He steps behind you and before you can ask what he’s doing his hands are on your shoulders.

Firm, careful pressure. His thumbs move in slow circles against your neck, like he knows exactly what he’s doing. (He does. He’s a doctor, after all).

Your body goes very still.

The crew goes even stiller.

Across the room, Shachi drops a wrench.

Penguin inhales a peanut and starts coughing.

Bepo covers his mouth like he’s watching a sacred ritual.

Law doesn’t notice. Or maybe he does, but doesn’t care.

He just mutters, “Tell me if it hurts” and keeps working the muscle.

You swear you might dissolve on the spot.

Later that day, you're walking down the hall toward the storage room when you hear it “DID YOU SEE THE MASSAGE?”

It's Shachi. His voice echoes off the metal walls.

“That was intimate, right? That wasn’t just medical. That was spiritual.”

Penguin: “I choked on a peanut for a reason. That was fate.”

Bepo, calmly: “I think they’re in love.”

You peek around the corner.

They’re in a triangle of chaos. Whisper-yelling. Flailing. Dramatic hand gestures.

You clear your throat and all three freeze.

You raise your eyebrows.

“…We were just talking about the weather” Shachi says, very seriously.

“Peanut forecast” Penguin adds.

Bepo bows slightly “I fully support you and the captain.”

You blink “We’re not even dating.”

There’s silence.

Then, in unison “YET.”

You walk off, red in the face, trying not to laugh.

You don’t see Law leaning in the next hallway, arms crossed again, listening to the whole thing.

He exhales through his nose, quietly.

Then mutters to himself “…Idiots.”

But his lips twitch. Just a little.

Law finds you on the deck in the early evening.

You're sitting on a crate, swinging your legs, watching the lights in the distance as the town starts to glow with festival lanterns.

He approaches, hands in his pockets.

“Hey” he says.

You glance up “Hey. Festival looks nice.”

He nods.

There’s a pause.

You look at him, expectant.

He shifts his weight, like he’s debating something. Then “…You wanna go?”

You blink “To the festival?”

“Yeah.” He shrugs, eyes on the horizon “Figured if I ask without writing a five-step plan first, I might not almost die.”

You snort “So this is you asking me on another date?”

He glances at you “Depends.”

“On?”

“If you say yes.”

You grin “I do.”

He exhales “Cool.”

You both try not to smile too obviously.

The festival is chaos but in the best way.

Kids dart through the crowd with candy in both hands. Music plays from a group of locals with hand drums. Lights swing overhead like constellations. There’s food everywhere.

You’re walking side-by-side, not touching, but close enough that your arms brush every now and then.

It’s comfortable.

It’s easy.

You pass a game booth, some kind of target shooting with cork guns. Law glances at it, then at you.

“You good at that?”

You shrug “Mediocre. You?”

“…Surgical.”

You grin “Prove it.”

Ten minutes later, he’s won you a stupid plush seal.

Not by being cool... no. He misses the first two shots, scowls at the gun like it insulted his ancestors, then mutters something about "cheap manufacturing" and *then* gets serious.

Tongue between his teeth. Narrowed eyes. Absolutely committed to this ridiculous task.

When he finally hits the last target, he looks so smug that you burst out laughing.

He shoves the plush into your hands “I said I’d get it.”

You’re still laughing “You’re so dramatic.”

He watches you, something soft in his eyes “…You like it though.”

You pretend to examine the seal “I mean, the craftsmanship’s a little off…”

He bumps your shoulder with his.

You both smile.

Later, you stop for shaved ice, sitting together on a low wall at the edge of the square.

You’re halfway through your dessert when Law quietly says, “This is better.”

You pause “Than what?”

He looks down at his cup “Last time. When I was trying too hard.”

You tilt your head “You were cute then, too.”

He huffs “I was malfunctioning.”

“You were. But it was cute.”

He glances at you, eyes a little narrowed “You call me cute one more time, I’ll—”

“What?” you challenge, grinning.

He leans in. Just a little.

You freeze.

“…I’ll get you a second plush” he says, flatly.

You burst out laughing.

He pulls back, lips twitching. He’s definitely not immune to how red your face is right now. And he likes it.

The sun dips lower, the festival softens. Lights blur a little more golden, music slows down, and kids start tugging tired parents toward "one last game."

You and Law are still wandering, side-by-side, when you pass a booth with a simple ball toss game, rings over bottles.

There's a kid already playing. Small. Serious. Determined.

Law stops. Watches.

The kid notices.

Their eyes lock.

You can feel the energy shift.

The kid slowly, silently, picks up another ring.

Law crosses his arms.

You look at both of them “…What is happening?”

Neither answers.

The kid tosses.

Hit.

Law steps up, drops a coin in the tray without looking away from the tiny opponent.

He tosses.

Hit.

It’s on.

The next few minutes are dead silent, deadly focused, and weirdly intense. Ring after ring. Perfect aim. Small frowns. No smiles. Just raw, quiet competition between a six-year-old and a warlord of the sea.

You’re trying so hard not to laugh you’re shaking.

Eventually the kid lands the final toss. Clean. The biggest bottle. Fireworks go off behind them (perfect timing), and they just nod like, obviously.

Law misses his last ring by a centimeter.

The kid walks over to the prize wall, selects a plush shark... huge, bright blue... and struts back to you.

Holds it out.

“For you, princess,” he says, with perfect, practiced swagger “I’m way better than him.”

You blink.

Law blinks.

The kid walks off without another word.

You look at Law.

You cackle.

Like, actual, doubled-over, wiping-your-eyes laughter.

Law is standing there in stunned silence like he just got outplayed in flirting by a child.

“Did he just—”

You nod, wheezing “He did. He called me princess. Did you hear that delivery?!”

Law glares at the shark plush like it insulted his honor.

You’re still laughing when he says, “It was rehearsed. He’s done that before.”

You lean against the booth, catching your breath “Oh my god. You should’ve done that on our first date.”

He mutters something about “not stooping to plush-based mind games” but he’s definitely not as grumpy as he pretends to be.

And when you nudge him, smiling, he just mutters “…I still won the seal.”

The walk back to the ship is quiet.

The streets behind you still glow with festival lights, but out here, closer to the shore, it’s all stars and sea breeze. A little cooler. A little slower.

You and Law walk side by side. No need to talk. No need to fill the silence.

You’re holding the dumb blue shark and the seal.

He hasn’t teased you about it since the kid incident. Maybe he knows you’d win. Or maybe he’s distracted.

You glance at him. His eyes are soft tonight, not sharp like they usually are. He’s not analyzing anything. Not overthinking. He’s just here with you.

“I had fun” you say quietly.

He nods “Yeah.”

You wait a second... “…That all you’re gonna say?”

He looks over “I didn’t almost die of embarrassment this time.”

You smile “True. Growth.”

A pause.

Then he says, voice lower “I liked being with you. Not just because it went better. Just… because it’s you.”

You stop walking.

He does too. Turns to face you fully.

The wind lifts his coat slightly. The moon lights the water behind him. His expression is unreadable for a second—then shifts.

Softer. Realer.

“I don’t really do this kind of thing,” he says “Dates. People.”

“I know.”

“But I want to try. If it’s you.”

Your heart stumbles.

You step closer “I was planning to kiss you tonight.”

His breath hitches, just a little “Oh.”

You grin “You okay with that?”

He nods once “Yeah.”

And that’s all you need.

You lean in. Your hands brush his coat. His breath catches. Then you kiss him. Slow. Steady. Warm.

He kisses you back like he’s memorizing it.

One hand rests on your waist, hesitant at first, then firmer, like he’s finally letting himself believe this is real.

When you pull back, you’re both quiet for a moment.

Then he murmurs, barely audible “…Better than a plush.”

You laugh against his chest.

He doesn’t say it, but he holds you a little tighter and that actually says everything.

It’s late, the crew mostly asleep, lights dimmed, the ocean calm. You’re in Law’s quarters now. It’s neater than you expected, but still has that lived-in look. Folders stacked in perfect piles. Books arranged by subject. A single mug half-full of cold tea.

You’re curled up on his couch. Shark plush tucked under one arm. Law’s sprawled next to you, boots off, coat hanging on the back of his desk chair.

His head’s resting against the back of the couch, eyes half-closed. He looks tired. In that good way. The kind that comes after laughter and a kiss and not needing to pretend.

You shift a little and his hand finds yours without looking.

Fingers laced. Easy.

“You’re quiet” you murmur.

“Still processing.”

You glance over “The kiss?”

“No. The shark.”

You snort “Jealous?”

He opens one eye “Of a six-year-old with good aim and terrifying confidence? …Yes.”

You laugh, soft and warm.

Law’s watching you now, really watching you, and this time there’s no hesitation. No second-guessing.

He reaches up and brushes a thumb over your cheekbone. Slow. Gentle. Familiar now.

“I meant what I said,” he murmurs “I want this.”

You nod “Me too.”

He shifts closer “You staying?”

You lean your head against his shoulder “Unless you kick me out.”

“…I’d operate the door shut before I let that happen.”

You smile into his shirt.

The next morning you wake up warm.

Wrapped in a blanket, shark plush tucked under your arm, head resting on something solid. And breathing.

You blink.

It’s Law’s chest.

His coat is draped over both of you like some makeshift shield. One of his hands is still loosely around your waist. The other is on his face, like he's already regretting waking up.

You smile.

“Morning” you whisper.

He groans into his palm “No.”

Then there’s a knock... or more like a bang.

“CAPTAIN!”

Law tenses.

You sit up, hair everywhere, still holding the plushes like a shield.

“Captain, are you—” Penguin bursts in and freezes.

Shachi appears behind him, sees the situation, and gasps like someone got stabbed.

Bepo peeks in last. Quietly says, “Told you they were in love.”

Law is already covering his face again.

Penguin: “Are these TWO cute plushes?!”

Shachi: “DID YOU SLEEP IN THE SAME ROOM?!”

Bepo, sincerely: “Did you cuddle?”

You blink at them.

Law doesn’t move.

You clear your throat “Morning.”

Shachi leans in “Good morning to you, power couple.”

Penguin: “So? You guys kiss last night? You kiss? You totally kissed, right?”

Law finally lifts his head.

Dead-eyed. Voice flat.

“Out. Now.”

The crew flees like rats.

You’re left half-laughing, half-horrified.

Law exhales deeply “I should’ve locked the door.”

You lean against him again “I think it’s cute.”

He stares at you like you’ve said something illegal.

You grin, plush squished between you.

“You’re really soft when you sleep, y’know.”

He closes his eyes “I’m moving out.”

[estenando]

danish dazed

pairing: oscar piastri x fem!reader

c/w: none. oscar overthinking/yearning despite this being their first meeting.

summary: oscar meets you at a quiet boba café, stumbling through the interaction, flustered by your quiet confidence. he swears he’s only coming back for the danishes—but even he doesn’t believe it.

a/n: a little drabble cuz i don’t think im gonna be very active this summer. i’ll add a moodboard/cover photos for this later. i don’t really like this bc it was really rushed lol.

word count: 1.2k

oscar, is a clean-polite-calm-organized time of person. you, on the other hand, is the complete opposite. messy handwriting, dirt on your baggy jeans, scuffed converse, always with a bleeding nose and chipped nail polish.

you had just turned 15, and he was 15 and a half when you both had first met, in a boba café out of all places. hattie had begged oscar to take her to it (she had exclaimed that her friends gave her a sip of the drink they got it, and it was “to die for. like literally it was so good.”) and he just got so annoyed at her nagging that he finally caved in & took her. 

the café was quiet, and empty. probably cause it was a Thursday night, and everyone is always busy on summer Thursday nights. you were sweeping up the floor, despite it looking clean. and when you heard them enter, you looked up, smiling at hattie.

“wait a sec guys, i’ll be right with you.” you had announced to them, sound cutting through the silence. your voice hoarse as if you had a screaming match last night.

he looks at you, with grey sweatpants and a black top that fits your build a little too perfectly.

he frowns to himself, why is he thinking about that? he’s better than that.

you quickly put the broom away, and went to the back to wash your hands (the manager had made it clear that customers loved when you wash your hands before taking their order) and sang the alphabet hurriedly while scrubbing your hands.

5 minutes later, you’re at the cash register. looking down at hattie, who you assumed was going to take the order.

“what would you like to order?” you smile at her, and even though it wasn’t directed at him, oscar swears his heart just stopped.

and as hattie loudly reads offers her order, probably the same drink her friend had told her about, he can’t help but notice things about you.

like the way your fingers are tapping into the counter (although he can’t tell if it’s out of anxiousness or annoyance or or hyperactivity or or or something else.)

he also notices the way your nails are painted with all sorts of colors — neon pink, dark green, baby blue, vibrant yellow — and he wonders if they have meanings or if there was just a buy one get one free discount at the store.

he slowly traces up from your fingers to your face, but not very subtly he figures because your eyes meet him when he finally reaches them. you’re smiling, like you know something he doesn’t. or maybe there’s something on his face. 

“would you like something?” you ask him, in the same loud hoarse voice — and even if it isn’t the most elegant, it makes oscar’s heart melt a little. — tilting your head a bit. 

he’s caught off guard. he was so busy noticing you that he didn’t even notice you were talking to him,  and now he’s left mouth-open, scratching his neck. standing there, awkwardly.

it seems that hattie notices, so she steps in for him.

“he would like a danish tart.” she says, in between giggles. as if she knows what he’s thinking. or maybe, oscar thinks, that he’s not as subtle as he hoped.

“alright.”  and you chuckle. a low chuckle, — like it’s just so funny but you don’t wanna be caught laughing. — and he smiles at the fact that he’s the one that caused it. 

but just as suddenly as it came, it quickly disappeared. turned into dust. like how a magician pulls a rabbit out of his hat, except it’s the opposite.

you’re reading the total cost of the order, but it’s all a haze to him because he can’t stop thinking about laughter. how it slipped from your mouth like honey, like a secret that he wants to keep locked up in a heart necklace. how easy it was to make you smile, how he would love to only hear that sound for the rest of his life. 

he feels hattie nudge him, looking up at him smiling, like a ‘kick me’ sticky note is glued to his back.

he’s pulled out of his gaze, and quickly gives you two 30 dollar bills. that is double the actual price. and you don’t fail to point it out.  

“uhh — the actual price is A$31. you just handed me two of ‘em.” you look up at him, smiling in disbelief. 

at the sight of your smile, oscar can’t help but stutter a bit, “oh — yes, yes. my apologies.” and he feels heat creep up his neck as he grabs the extra note.

you look down back to hattie, “your order will take 16 minutes, go ahead and take a seat while you wait.” shaking your head smiling, as you turn towards the kitchen to make the drink.

it’s 13 minutes later when you call their order, and oscar can’t help but tell himself that maybe you rushed to finish the order just for them. maybe she sees him as more than an awkward customer.

you hand the drink to hattie, exclaiming “here’s the drink for the missus.” smiling softly at her, hand wrapped around the plastic see through cup.

and then you turn to oscar, that stupid grin that he’s already come to love on your face again.

“and a danish for the mute” you remark, passing the pastry that’s wrapped with a soft tissue.

and for a brief moment, your hand brushes against his. his heart stutters, his breath hitches and his finger twitches a bit. but then it’s gone. slipping through his fingers, both literally speaking and figuratively.

he gazes up towards you, but he doesn’t notice anything different in your expression. your eyes are looking towards his sister instead, looking curiously. and he starts to wonder if he imagined the whole ordeal, or maybe you just don’t care to notice something as trivial as fingers sliding past each other. he hopes to god or whatever that is up there that you just didn’t notice out of the same of it and not that you don’t care.

hattie leads the way out of the store, grabbing him by his sleeve as he lazily (and totally not because he doesn’t wanna not see you. totally because he doesn’t want to get to know you more, what school you go to. totally 100% definitely not.)

and when he looks up briefly, he trips up just a bit because he finds that you're smiling at him, waving goodbye to him, to him.

when hattie and him are walking home, the sun casts a ray of orange and pink light across the sky as it sets. and he’s slowly biting at the danish, thinking about you when hattie stops sipping her drink and declares, “you like her.” no hint of uncertainty in her voice.

“i do not. i was nice to her, and she was kind to me.” he faux defends, although it sounds like he’s trying to convince himself more than hattie.

for the rest of the walk home, hattie teases him relentlessly about it.

but he’s not paying attention to her, or the words she’s saying.

he’s instead thinking about how this summer he’s definitely going to go to the café to buy more danishes and totally not to just see you.

[sectumsempraaa]

Taking a flight with the Slytherin boys (headcanons)

i wrote these while delayed for several hours at the airport yesterday 🫶🏼 a lil something for y’all while i work on requests!

feat. Draco, Mattheo, Theo, Blaise, Lorenzo x reader

Draco:

- is extremely confused why he has to take off his shoes at security

- threatens the TSA agent during a pat down

- refuses to eat airport food

- pays his way into one of the airline lounges to get away from the public

- doesn’t “trust” the muggle pilot- asks if he can fly the plane instead

- “Draco this is a Boeing 747 not a Nimbus 2000”

- upgrades you both to first class and orders you expensive drinks

- aisle seat kinda guy

- booked a car service for y’all to be ready immediately upon landing

- asks his dad if they have a private jet bc he literally never wants to do that again

Mattheo:

- oh no

- where is he

- you’re not even there for 10 minutes before you lose him

- you find him signing up for Clear bc he hates waiting in lines

- sets the metal detector off bc he “didn’t know” that knives are prohibited on planes

- buys way too much stuff at the grab and go store bc he doesn’t want y’all to be hungry

- teasing you with his hands between your thighs before takeoff

- falls asleep on your shoulder for the entire flight

- big time nuzzling his face in your neck

Blaise:

- airport dad energy

- gets y’all to the airport 3 hours before takeoff

- has everyones documents photo copied in a physical folder

- if the whole group is there he is doing a headcount every 15 minutes

- puts airtags in everyones backpacks in case someone wanders off

- orders you a fancy meal on the plane. this man won’t let you settle for snacks

- makes sure you’re extremely comfortable (seat all the way back, borrowing his pillow, adjusting the air temp bc he knows you get cold)

- not a fan of heights!! plays with your hair to distract himself

Theo:

- showing up to the airport with minutes to spare

- checks all your bags bc he won’t let y’all carry that crap around

- knows your coffee order and is also a caffeinated king

- downloaded a carefully selected line up of his and your favorite films on his ipad

- buys you both painfully cheesey matching airport merch (ie: I ♡ NY shirts)

- if your flight gets delayed he is buying y’all mimosas at the airport bar

- buys the third seat so it’s just you guys in your row (so he can makeout with you whenever he wants)

Lorenzo:

- mans is dressing SO comfy

- hand on your lower back at all times

- staring at your ass all day, he lovesss when you wear those yoga pants

- gets yelled at for trying to go through the metal detector with you

- striking up conversation with strangers who have service dogs

- taking pictures of EVERYTHING

- mega turbulence anxiety but tries so hard to keep his composure for you

- definitely curated a soothing playlist for the flight

- “Y/N, you’re missing the safety demonstration”

- asks for a blanket and drapes it over both of you bc this man wants to cuddle until the wheels hit the ground

- 100% tries to sit on the actively moving baggage claim carousel

—

ALL of them refer to you as their “wife” for fun whenever talking to strangers or employees. “my wife would like a glass of champagne.” “a blanket for my wife and i, please.” “me and my wife are headed back home for the holidays.”

[mmegwrld]

bf jk hcs! ♡

let me know if you guys want anybody else

masterlist

i feel like he would go live late at night with you and do like mukbangs (i might make a drabble for that…) YKWWW i feel like he would be like all giggly like how he was when mingyu was on live with him! 😭

imaging him making you listen to seven or 3d for the first time… he would literally be so shy! SOOO NERVOUS. you’d like be “oh baby, this is so good!” and he’d be like “IM TOO FREAKED OUT😭😭😭😭” — HE GOT LATTO ON THE REMIX FOR YOU!! like imagine you like latto’s songs and he’s like hmmm i love my gf sm im gonna get latto on my remix

he would ask permission to get girls to act in his mvs and he has you on the sets while they’re filming

your family fucking my loves! Loves! LOVES JUNGKOOK SO MUCH! one of your little cousins said to you “where’s kookie? i wanna see him not you!” ………… you didn’t get him a christmas present because of it.

AND HE CAN COOK SO YOUR FAMILY LOVES HIM MORE BECAUSE OF THAT.

EVERYTIMEEE YOU GET YOUR NAILS DONE… HIS BICEPS ARE ON DECK! you’d be trying to take a picture of your nails for your nail artist to post and he in front of you, pulling his sleeve up and flexing his bicep. you’re like babe? and he’s just grinning.

if you had a dog, he’d make you bring them and bam and it become siblings

HE MOVES YOU IN LITTLE BY LITTLE. like if you take off your sweater in his car, he grabs it and puts it into his house after you leave. you left your blanket? it’s folded up on his couch. you left your necklace? it’s in his drawer. YOUR SHOES? ON THE RACK. YOUR PHONE CHARGER? NEXT TO THE BED.

he makes you brush your teeth with him in the morning and at night

you have magnets of him in 2013 on you guys’ fridge

he makes you share you drinks. like it doesn’t matter if he has his own, he’s drinking yours

YOU GUYS MATCHED ON HALLOWEEN AS ROGER RABBIT AND JESSICA RABBIT OMG

if his eyebrow piercing is sore or something, he makes you kiss it for 15 minutes straight. no breaks.

he has a literal shrine of you. like photos of you when you were younger until now, a poster of your favorite movie, a photo of you and the rest of the members.. another of you and jimin during are you sure, lego figures of you two, and a shirt of you.

almost everytime yall go out, he makes you guys match outfits. doesn’t matter where, yall are matching!

he wouldn’t want you to watch jjk bc he knows that girls find the guys attractive.

you both have mini photocards of each other on either your bags or keys.

his brother sketched a photo of you, bam and jk!

he buys you sonny angles and labubus all the time. your bookshelf is filled with them. FILLED.

he’s so sad when he has to leave you for the military!! he made it seem like he’s okay to not stress you but he’s really sad and thats why he’s been hugging you tighter.

HE WOULD DO THE ‘somebody point me to the best ass eater’ TREND😭😭 he would eat your imaginary plate and make his own so people know he’s not joking

he bakes all of your bday cakes

he’ll just randomly text you at 2pm hey angel, i’m picking you up at 7. love you

he gets you a pandora ring and bracelet with your own little charms that he knows mean something to you

after a long day at work, you get into your car and see a HUGE bouquet of flowers and a note that says love you so much! :-)

when he met usher, he called you instantly and he was telling you he’s nervous to dance with him and stuff.

whenever there’s a dating rumor with him and another girl, he posts a video or picture with you with the same caption i love my baby ♥️ my wife

namjoon and taehyung did a prank on him where they flirt with you and he got superrrr mad and threw water on them

he’s a girl dad idc

he’s the type to lean down to get to your height so he can hear you clearly! 😫😫

he gets shy whenever you rub his chest or compliment his biceps.

he kisses your feet bruh

okay thats it! :P

[sparklingcid3r]

I promised a rumble rundown, so that’s what I’m gonna do. Let’s go🙏 also here's the yt vid i used lol

0:14-0:17

Paul says, “Hello, Darrel. Long time, no see” and then immediately starts checking him out with that upside down smile, ik what u think abt 👁️👁️

0:24-0:27

“I’ll take you” yeah Paul I’m sure u will 🙄 Darry’s cold af w the staredown tho, it’s unfortunate that Pony and Soda have do a full head turn to look at each other like “IKKK he ain’t j said that”

0:27-0:31

DALLAS MY GLORIOUS KING ARRIVES,, shirtless??? And the crowd goes mild‼️ Pony also gets popped in the face and down he goes, it was so good that he was here for just a little bit, everyone say bye now bc the next time he shows up in the fight u won’t even know it’s him I’m deadass

0:48-0:55

Soda is ripping into this guy right, my baby’s a champion!! And then gets up and kinda… walks past Steve getting his ass beat lmao. He even puts his hand on Steve’s shoulder to steady himself as he goes by😭

He just misses the mean double gut punch Steve tanks like the unit he is, because Steve GRABS THIS MAN’S PUNCH and RIPS one across his face, it was beautiful. Masterclass in the ring I’m afraid

0:56-0:58

Okay. I need to give yall the play by play for this single two-second sequence because it was genuinely the greatest clip of cinema I’ve ever seen in my life.

Paul’s got Darry out of frame and he’s confident, dare I say cocky. He’s doing the universal hand signals for “Cmon, hit me bro.”

And I’m gonna say this next part softly. Lean in and listen to me:

When I tell u that Darry clocks Paul in the face, I don’t mean he just clocks Paul in the face. Darry rises like a phoenix from the ashes and swings so hard that everyone around him can feel the aftershocks. Paul has just experienced the equivalent of a steel boxing glove to the dome. Teeth are flying. Paul will have no recollection of this moment for the rest of his life. Take a look at this.

Alr now we back up because YOU CAN SEEEE THE MOMENT OF REALIZATION. This man starts BAILING. The minute Darry spins back, Paul’s got bug eyes, all “Hold up. Wait a minute. He really ‘bout to clock my shit.” He did not want that smoke NEARLY as much as he thought he did, and ykw? I don’t blame him 🤷‍♀️ 

Letting yall know that I had to go back and slow down the playback speed so that I could bask in the glory that is Darrel Curtis’s behemoth of a punch. Geologists are losing their minds wondering how volcanoes are erupting and mountains are shifting, unaware of what just happened in Tulsa, Oklahoma.

1:00-1:03

Dally bitch slapping a dude is a great way to kick off the one-minute mark, and a good kick to the ribs just for funsies ig. U go girl🫶

1:04-1:07

Hottest Two-Bit has ever looked sorry

1:19-1:21

Alr Dally is literally picking people up and WWE rocking their shit as he slams them to the ground. That kid was dropped neck first. How did Pony not have to write a sequel.

1:22-1:24

Just an entire sequence dedicated to Soda mewing even as he gets bitched in the face. It’s alr tho, he got his get back

1:47-1:49

Istg I’m not tripping, u listen and u can hear Pony screaming for Darry yall I thought this was supposed to be a good time, I’m actually sobbing

1:55-2:01

STEVE CLUTCHES UP??? DEADASSSS that was the CLEANEST three-shot KO I’ve ever seen, then he body flips the guy behind him??? I WASN’T FAMILIAR W UR GAME, RANDLE 🙏

2:09-2:15

The Socs are kind of getting ready to retreat at this point but rq we gotta check in on the exes, Paul’s getting clowned on again lmfao.

This man tried to kick Darry, then when Darry’s got his foot and is getting ready to spin him like that pigskin, he’s PULLING on Darry’s HAIR??? Man, just leave 😭 ur cooked. And the last time we see him, he’s CRAWLING AWAY😭😭 at least STAND UP

2:24-2:27

Pony’s getting washed in a 6v1 it ain’t his fault this time, bless up. Luckily my goat Darrel Shaynne Curtis Jr. pulls up and literally starts throwing bodies. Absolutely spectacular that I get to live in the same lifetime as this movie.

2:30-2:32

Darry’s asking, “Ponyboy, you okay?” and some NOBODY tries to grab Darry’s shoulders. Who do u think u are???

3:35-3:45

Greasers get the W👏

So in conclusion I think we can all agree that if u are locked in an iso with Darry, just offer up ur cheek and get it over w. Ur not getting the dub. Roll down ur sleeves and go home, ur benched.

Sorry this is messy af, I'm just having fun rn LMFAO

[eternalxvenus]

୨⎯ Like a good neighbor, Gojo is there ⎯୧

summary: You've just moved into a fixer-upper in a quaint neighborhood, excited to start building and designing your dream home. Everything's perfect…or would be, if it weren't for that gorgeous but obnoxious Satoru Gojo next door, who you fight with practically every day.

cw: smut 18+, satoru gojo x f!reader, smut, a little fluff, a smidgen of plot if you squint, gojo is annoying, no curses au, gojo is stupidly rich, pet names (baby, sweetheart), oral f!receiving, p in v, light choking, squirting

word count: 1.5k

notes: this is my first time writing smut so pls bear with me… the tile is bc that logo has been stuck in my head all damn day </3, im also debating on making a part 2… and lastly HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!

You woke up to the sound of birds and wind, the sun shining brightly through your uncovered windows. As you stretched your limbs out with a groan trying to fully wake up, you thought about all the things you had to do today.

The clock shown 9:15am. Getting out of bed, the house was warm thanks to the summer morning. After doing your morning routine and eating breakfast you decide that you’re next project for the house will be painting the outside porch railing. You already had the paint, opting for a soft brown color.

Outside the air was warm and almost humid. The half empty coffee cup rested on the small table you had out there. Your clothes were already stained and rugged from previous projects done on the house. You picked up a paintbrush and promptly started on the porch.

About an hour or so later you were still painting, a light sheen in your forehead as you hummed a song stuck in your head. This was the peace you were looking for.

“Heyyy Y/N, how’s your morning going?” You roll your eyes, recognizing the all to chipper voice. Your neighbor Satoru Gojo. He was the most non-peaceful thing about the entire neighborhood. You tried to ignore him, but of course he was already making his way over. “I said good morning, what’s wrong too tired to speak?” he inquired.

A loud huff leaves your mouth. “No Gojo. I just don’t want to speak. To you at least.”

“Ah don’t be like that. I know what’s got you in a sour mood. It’s that ugly paint color isn’t it? Looks like shit— literally.”

“Gojo please do not come over here starting nonsense. It’s a pretty neutral brown. Now go away and leave me be.” You pick up the paint can and move to the next part of the porch. Gojo watches you lazily as you move about. He’s uncharacteristically silent and you almost forget that he’s even there. Glancing up to give him a look that says ‘What?’

With a no good smile on his face he says “Have lunch with me Y/N. Take a break and i’ll make us something good.”

You thought about declining but you were really hungry. As if on command your stomach growled rather loudly. “What’s the catch? You berate all my artistic choices thus far?” you deadpan.

With a hand over his chest in mock offense Gojo replies saying, “I would never!” He starts walking over to his house beckoning you to follow. “C’mon i’ll make us some sandwich wraps.”

You follow Gojo into his house and i soon as you step inside you see the stark contrast the inside has compared to the outside. Everything looks modern and sleek.

Gojo clears his throat before speaking. “Have a seat wherever. I’ll get started on the wraps.” You give a brief nod, walking into his living room to get a closer look at the decor. Fifteen minutes later, Gojo walks in empty handed.

“I put the wraps in the fridge. I usually let them sit in there about 10-15 minutes before eating so they have a better crunch and don’t get as soggy.” He plopped down on the couch stretching out his arms and legs. His eyes kept moving down to your ass as you walked around. “Come sit and let’s talk.”

You sit down next to him, making sure to leave a good amount of space between you both, before he scoots you closer by the hips.

“You know, I’ve never had such a pretty neighbor before…” Gojo’s voice is smooth and filled with seduction. Your heartbeat picks up as he places a hand on your thigh squeezing lightly.

“Gojo… what are you doing?” You ask in a breathy voice. His touch had an effect on you and you hated it. The last thing he needed was an ego boost.

“Oh come on Y/N, why do you think i’m always coming to bother you? I needed an excuse to see your pretty face.” He lowered his head to place light kisses along your jaw and neck. You moved your head to the side to give him better access. It couldn’t hurt to have a little fun…

Gojo moves from your neck and looks into your eyes. You see the dark lustful look in them before he pulls you in for a heated and bruising kiss. It’s all tongue and teeth, both of you barely stopping to get any air. You can feel the heat and arousal rushing through your body as he pulls you into his lap. Lifting his hips up slightly you can feel that he’s already hard and definitely not small. You break the kiss to pull off your shirt and Gojo nearly rips off your bra before taking one of your hard nipples into his mouth while working the other between his fingers. “Ah… Gojo-”

“Satoru” he says breathing heavily and looking into your eyes. “Please call me Satoru.”

“Satoru… don’t tease.” you nearly whine.

“Fuck… i need to taste you.” Without missing a beat Gojo lays you down on the couch, making quick work of getting your jeans and panties off. “You’re so wet, this all for me?” his lips formed that cocky smirk. “Shut up and do something.” you say squirming. He grabs your hips to still you then lowers his head to taste your arousal. “You taste better than I could’ve imagined… so fucking sweet.” He goes straight into it, sucking your clit into his mouth and teasing your hole with his tongue like he’s starved. Your hands immediately find purchase in his hair. You tug slightly making Gojo moan which only adds to the knot that’s already forming in your stomach.

You try to lift your hips but he has you in an iron grip. Heavy pants and moans slip past your lips as you feel that familiar sensation or your orgasm. “Ah! Sa-satoru! Fuck i’m gonna cum!” he continues working his tongue on your clit as he inserts two of his long fingers inside of you, curling them to hit that spot that has you seeing stars. Gojo eagerly licks and sucks all that you’re offering as you slowly start to come down from your high. He kisses your thighs and slowly makes his way up to your face. “I could eat you out all day” he breathes out. “But right now I wanna be inside you.”

You watch as he takes off his pants, seeing the wet patch on his boxers from his precum. After removing the rest of his clothing he now rests in between your legs, stroking himself as he rubs his tip against your clit. You buck your hips trying to get more friction but Gojo won’t budge. “Tell me what you want.” he whispers aligning himself with your entrance. “Satoru just fuck me please!” You say impatiently. The only warning you have is Gojo saying “If you say so.” before sliding his cock in until he bottomed out.

He threw his head back with a groan. “Shiiiit baby you’re so fucking tight.” He gave you a moment to adjust then started fucking you at an almost inhuman pace. All you could do was moan not able to form anything coherent. You felt Gojo’s hand come to your neck and squeeze just enough to heighten the force of his thrust. “You take me so well… this slutty pussy just keeps sucking me in.” His free hand slipped down to rub harsh circles on your clit causing you to practically scream. “Satoru! Too much!”

“You can take it baby i’m almost there. I want you to cum for me.”

Gojo keeps up his unrelenting pace and overstimulates your clit. You can feel him throbbing inside of you as his thrusts start to stagger and get sloppy signaling he was close. “Fuck baby I’m gonna cum… gonna cum all over those pretty tits.”

“Please Satoru! Feels so good… fucking cumming ah!” You feel a gush of warm liquid between your legs just as Gojo pulls out whimpering while spilling his cum all over your stomach. “F-fucking shit! Fuck baby…” you both lay there panting as Gojo gives you small feathery kisses. After a minute or two he gets up to grab a towel to clean you up with. He’s back in his boxers and had one of his shirts for you to wear. You blush taking it with a small “Thank you.”

Once you’ve sat up and slipped on the shirt you notice the wet spot staining the couch. “Shit… sorry about your couch Satoru. I’ll give you the money to replace it.”

Gojo laughs at your concern for his couch. “Don’t worry about it sweetheart.” He moves you both over to a the other side of the couch that isn’t ruined. “No really i’ll replace it, how much was it?” He mumbles something that you don’t understand. “What?”

“$3,600.”

You stare at him in shock. “Satoru what the hell!” He dismisses your shock with a wave of his hand and lays you both down. “I told you don’t worry about it. Right now just lay here with me.” Just as you both got comfortable and closed your eyes, your stomach growls loudly.

“I guess now would be a good time to get those sandwiches.” Gojo laughs.

likes, comments, and reblogs are greatly appreciated!

[brisquad-unit-4402]

fanfic ideas i've had in the last 4 days that will never come to fruition, not bc i don't want to, but bc it's so much more fun imagining it

ver shows reader his love and the deepspace boys

cuddling with vox but it's a proper boyfriend experience bc all his dialogue is fucking stupid. reader will say something sweet and then he does that little gremlin chuckle like "he he he he he. monki"

magical girl aia transformation with an elegant and oversized sword, says "i hate ai art," and then stabs a storm giant's heart killing it instantly

zuttomo gets lost in a costco and eventually millie asks if she can use the pa to gather the gang back together again and goes "cute girls, i'm at the front. 𝓼𝓸 𝓭𝓸𝓷'𝓽 𝓴𝓮𝓮𝓹 𝓶𝓮 𝔀𝓪𝓲𝓽𝓲𝓷𝓰, 𝓶𝓶𝓱~" and then gets kicked out for being too sexy so 15 minutes later enna gets on the pa and says "reimu, petra, i'm at the front. sayonara you weeaboo shits" and leaves. reimu and petra get locked inside for 18 hours and live off of the produce aisle

wilson wants to hug/kiss reader for a minute a day bc he read that it helps relationships and physical health but he doesn't want to be the one that brings it up so he keeps leaving articles abt it around the house

shu and reader get an exercise ball but literally no one uses it as intended, it's now both a seat and a source of transportation, eventually culminates in a petty fight bc they hog it from one another until they lesrn the true meaning of love or smn idk

reimu tells you to get tf up!! and keps telling you to brush your teeth

stonersanji au revival. idk what happens in it but finana vapes

[nsfw under cut]

luca pulls back the curtain while ike showers (luxiem lives together in a streamer house mansion or something here) and he's like "hey ike do you—stop screaming it's just me—do you know if we have any marshmallows vox said he would buy me tickets to see miku in concert if i can put 15 of them in my mouth. you should come you'd like it it's on april 31! yeah i already asked shu. stop freaking out i don't mind. oh okay byeee" and then goes to ask sonny next and walks in on noctyx all taking a bath together (alban sits on the edge peering into the water warily bc he's a cat) (also noctyx lives there too) and he's like "hi sonny do we know if we have any marshmallows if i can fit 15 of them in my mouth he'll pay for some tickets to see miku on april 31" and fulgur's like "oh april 31 you gotta get on that asap" and sonny's like "uhh i don't think so but if you're going to the store can you get some more fruit snacks" and uki is like "lmk if you need any help luca" and alban anxiously briefly skims a hand over the water

claude clawmark "the mask stays on during sex"

i would say puppy play sonny brisko but i'm gonna be real there's a solid chance that this one might break out of wip hell

wilson wants to have sex every day so he can make tiktoks abt it

this is all just to say that wilson is needy af

[fairyofshampgyu]

i love himbo ! gyu so much tbh like it's brainrotting me ngl 💔

I ONLY JUST SAW THIS NOW FOR SOME REASON SORRY BUT OMFG YES HIMBO GYU 😩😩😩 I think about him all the time especially after your himbo gyu headcanons you really brainrotted me hard 😪 everything you said was so true bro ‼️No but that picture you used as your header always reminded me of frat boy himbo gyu as well like !!😩 so now i think we need to talk about himbo gyu more or I’ll explode.

Okay but also look at these pictures like he also looks like a frat boy himbo here hsfhfjdh

Anyway himbo ! gyu being so damn obvious with his crush on you whilst thinking he’s subtle but every time you’re in the room he’s staring at you like a hawk and not paying attention to a single thing his friends are saying, his friends asking him a question but he’s completely zoned out daydreaming of you lmao and yet he’s also so oblivious to your crush on him somehow when you’ve been straight out FLIRTING w him he just doesn’t seem to get it 😭

Gyu when you guys finally start dating being the clingiest bf ever he’s literally like a golden retriever or a lovesick puppy for you like he’s so down bad and once he’s finally forced you to cuddle him at the most unconventional times, he literally will not let you leave him for hours whining so loudly if you let go 🙄🙄

Complaining when you do work and never doing his own, luring you in by promising ‘study dates’ and that he will fr study this time but he won’t shut up talking about random shit and distracts you sm and asks for like 50 kisses 15 minutes into the session

ALSO HES SUCH A PERVVV and he’s such a thigh and ass man omg he will not leave them alone but bc he’s so dumb for them, you can use it to your advantage and tease him so bad 😌 like one time he’s just walking on campus and you run up to him and hug him and say hi then do a little twirl in a extremely short skirt or revealing outfit and bro has already malfunctioned and gotten hard 😪 begging you both to just skip class and go back to your dorm to which you dramatically gasp at like “you’re such a perv beomgyu omg.. !🫢😰🤨🤨 I’m just wearing a cute nice innocent outfit tf”

When that was literally your devious 😈 plan all along TO TORTURE HIM AND GO CRAZY OVER YOU

He’s begging and pleading so bad but you force him to go to his class and he’s texting you in his class as soon as he’s in there saying he can’t focus bc all he can think of is you but he never focuses in class anyway 🙄

So you send him a few innocent pics in his lecture 🤭… maybe of your skirt ridden up a bit, plush thighs on full display and your panties

HE GOES INSANE, sending you keyboard smashes and saying he’s “fr DYING rnaBAJFKDJ<$*) STOP DONT DO THIS TO ME Y/N HSJFJ IM GOING TO DIE AND EXPLODE” he’s literally so painfully hard in his lecture lmfao but you tell him to pay attention 😭

When his class finally ends he practically pounces on you dragging you to his dorm 😭 and now you’ll have to take care of the mess you made of him, fucking your baby so dumb <3

Beomie’s got a big cock but dumb baby doesn’t know how to use it himself you have to help him :( so pretty but can’t use his pretty little head of his all the time

Call him a dumb puppy and he’ll literally whimper and cum in his pants right there he loves it sm, pull on your dumb puppy’s hair as well

Yes, he’s a bit ditzy but he’s def not dumb when it comes to eating you out though like you said, he could literally stay there forever and he’s so pussy drunk for u, pretty lips and tongue so good at fucking you and sucking your clit, big dumb pretty eyes looking up at you, he’s always begging you to sit on his face like he loves eating you out whilst you sit on his face and gripping on your fleshy plush thighs as he whimpers and whines underneath you it’s literally his favourite thing

Pretty but no brains…or maybe he just puts the act on a lot more just bc he knows how much you like it and go crazy when he doesn’t know what to do and looks at you with his dumb puppy eyes, he’ll use it to his advantage to get what he wants, he’s still a major spoilt brat 😒

[wifetomanyfictionalmen]

sjsndbd you can keep sending me asks i literally do not mind them i love your ideas sm. you're actually helping with muse it's insane.

But since you insist, i had an idea in mind, and then i forgot, and then i saw your reblog and remembered again so !!

could i possibly get another egon x reader (i literally love egon i am not sorry about this) where the reader is a little bit religiously traumatized and they have a call there, but they physically cannot step into the church bc 1) their family went to this church, and 2) everything is coming back after almost forgetting about everything so egon has to comfort them.

Sorry if that's a little dark but that's me being angsty 💀

*rubs hands together* I also have religious trauma so les goooo

“I promise you’re okay Dove”

Egon Spengler x Reader

Warnings: angst, religious trauma, implied 🍇

Panic set in even before you’d gotten into the Ecto 1. The call you’d received was from a church, the Catholic Church to be precise. The one your parents attended when you were young. Egon knew you didn’t like churches somewhat but he thought it was just because you were a scientist and you didn’t believe the stupid bible stories.

You took your meds and got into the Ecto 1 all kitted up and ready. As Ray pulled up to the church your stomach did flips and suddenly you were back to your 7 year old self.

You were only young, seven years old nearly 8. Your parents were taking you to Easter service at the church near your apartment. You were dressed up in a pretty blue dress with a little bow at the back and your hair curled. You never understood why exactly this was so important but you enjoyed the free chocolate.

Of course you’d never worn a dress of this style to church. It came to your knees and was very poofy and femme. The dresses you usually wore were ankle length, and a peachy colour. You didn’t argue though because good girls never argued. As you approached the church the pastor was welcoming everyone, and though you nor your parents saw, he was eyeing you up.

You sat beside your parents and swung your little legs as the ceremony began. You were old enough to volunteer with the little show they put on and let kids get involved with. Of course you begged your parents and it didn’t take much for them to allow you to. The service itself went smoothly, afterward while children were allowed to play outside on the clear patch of grass and adults were sat around picnic tables talking, the pastor called you over into the church. He told you that you looked very pretty in your dress and that he knew God intended you to find a man soon.

This confused you because you were only 7 and boys were so blehhhhh. But you just nodded and smiled and turned to leave. The pastor asked you if you could show him your stockings because they looked so pretty and you foolishly agreed. You thought nothing of it and never mentioned it to your parents. And that’s how it continued every Easter service up until you were 15 and finishing up school.

He tried to get you to strip, going as far as to drag you into the confessional booth and rip your dress. Without going into to much depth he had his way with you and only after you were able to escape and run out screaming and crying. Your dress was in shreds, you were a mess makeup running down your cheeks, and all your parents said was, “you shouldn’t have been tempting him with how short your dress was”

You hadn’t moved from your seat in the Ecto one for a good five minutes, tears were streaming down your cheeks your breathing heavy. Egon told the others to go ahead and he would catch up. They agreed and he waited for you to calm down and come back to the real world. They had things in the car for if Egon ever had a panic attack. He grabbed a sugary drink and something sour for you and that helped you come back to the present.

He held your hand gently and you looked at him. His heart broke seeing how upset you looked. “It’s okay now my dove, I promise you it’s okay Dove”

When the ghost was contained and you were safely in Egons baggy clothes in his bed swaddled up with your favorite drink and snacks Egon put his favorite music on and worked on some paperwork at the desk inside the bedroom. Not even Venkman had cracked a joke about the church, and that was rare.

[brilliantfantasticgeronimo]

LUX!!!!

(ncuti voice)lets go lets go lets go lets go let's go

first some hot takes from trailers:

hot take 1: im a bit side eyeing this ep in advance bc much like the eurovision special coming up it feels 5 years behind from the zeitgeist. in these days when fanservice and high-concept tv is so common this kinda gimmick, by itself, is just Not That Bold

hot take 2: im not a fan of how bad wolf does coloring tbh. so much teal and copper. egh. i had this problem with HDM too actually. some very beautiful production design but imo marred many times by a muddied, artificial color palette... (last ep was terrible with this imo. the props were so gorgeous but those colors… oof)

ok onto the episode proper

this kind "ironic" 50s aesthetic does nothing for me. sorry fallout fans.

got fooled a lot by the last eps so im trying to freeze frame more this time kdlfjs

TV SHOW GANG LOOK WE'RE OPENING WITH A LITERAL PROJECTION AGAIN. why are we winning literally all the time

"and the world must ask, is this the pinnacle of man's creative genius?" master energy

francis ringer?

shouldn't this kind of style 20s be in black and white? color cartoons are more 40s-50s

IT'S ALL FIFTEEEN

"you came back, i had faith, and you came back"

"according to the laws of the light, sunlight doesnt suit us" oof

i know it's not

"LIMITED RUN ONLY" triggered TOT

"and technically it's puppets that want to be boys, not cartoons" screaming

they did a good job with the "coming out of the screen" effect

"and whatever you do dont make me laugh" stop trying to make blink happen its not gonna happen

love a "under the hood repair" scene <3

MUSIC!!!!!

"planet timelordia" "i wish it was called that :/" im in love

he asks if she's got a girlfriend first sdklfjd doctor who has a Type

"maybe not today"

the orange / yellow / cream of their outfits contrasts rlly well with the grey and blue

london regency orchestra!!!

"he loves grabbind the microphane" sdklfjsd "i would really, really like to see them again" us too!!

TAKE ME BACK TO HEATTHROW AIRPORT!!!!! im so living ya'll -" vindicator" i love.also she's so unfazed lskdfjd (which i love too)

(i can sense this is gonna be an episode with a lot of Food bc it's been 5 minutes and i've already paused so many times kldfj)

15 so happy to be seducing her dslfkjsdlkfj

OUTFITS!!!!!! ROLL OVER BETHOVEN MY BELOVED!!! LIGHTS!!!! /my toxic trait is i love doccy ho 2 much

"at 4am. we got dressed up for no one to see"

"this time travel thing is so strange because… we know what happens to him. poor soul" belinda idk your last name but im in love with u

also this Feels like it's gonna be a theme… good ol' pompoeii stories coming up

this is such a tenth move lmao ";;;) heyyy i can take u home but looook…. first i need to take off my tie…… and also let's visit shakespeare ;;;) but i promise it's all Necessary"

"like they are locking up a wild beast" i wonder if this is the kind of ep that would be stronger without a cold open that tells us already the awnser to the mystery sdlkfj

"we can go now :)))))))))) pls"

batista namedrop

oh yeah… racism :/

"i have toppled worlds, sometimes i wait for people to topple their world. until then, i live in it i and i shine ;)" this is the kinda energy i wanna bring to my family dinners

(ok BUT this is such a Meaningful line that says sm about the doctor and fifteen's arc and the lore and even torchwood CoE but i kinda want to focus on the ep sdklfsadjs le'ts just put it in a lil' box to unpack later)

"he liked those tales of outer space" "did he?"

"i will sit and wait for that boy forever"

"it says "police box"" "does that give you hope?"

hope can change the world / and then the hand holding In the context of the segregation … hits different

"C'MON VELMA" "OK FRED" iconic

"i know this is a segregated space…but we just… we wanted to say…. (beat)… hello"

"and this is……. the doctor?????(right, just the doctor???? …um always?? :///" "yeah" "ridiculous…." wtf i love her so much

"is someone tap dancing at us?"

"you're not celluloid, you're made of light, light come to life"

"i wish i knew. i'm all alone. ain't nobody else in this whole wide world like me. does nobody care about mr. ring a ding?" "you've got your own soundtrack" "15 people went missing" "" I LOVE A MIRROR!!!! I LOVE A FOIL!!! (eats my entire hat)

ALSO THEY CAN HEAR THE SOUNDTRACK!!!!!!!

"because it sounds like this…" YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LET'S GO LET'S GO LET'S GO LET'S GO

asdkjasd lk we saw that harbinger cinema image set pic literally LAST series and i still got totally SHOCKED i tell you SHOCKED when this happened…. i love doccy ho

this whole pantheon insanity is so underrated tbh. fandom is gonna take A While to see the Brilliance just like with the timeless children.

this era has so much wordplay… so Intentionally… (cause IT'S A TV SHOW) when we get to the god of narrative things are gonna get So Insane…

"dangabbit, i've got no choice!" i love a mirror

"because if that thing is real, then so is she" oh i love this theme!! dreams are real 2 us.. fav trope.

"i should have never

"it's all a game to them. but the games are deadly" mirror mirror mirror mirror

"there are forces beyond this universe. and we think we're so clever. but we're like children. and when these forces deign to look down on us, our entire reality is in danger" this dialogues So well with Time vs 13 in flux

15 people …………

"he's trapped them in film" idiot's lantern coded!!!

'CAUSE YOU KNOW HOW FLAMMABLE OLD FILM IS. doctor who fans everywhere TRIGGERED

(the flashbacks to the previous episodes is a bit hoockey sdkflj)

belinda's expressions are Doing A Lot in this part

"those 15 people, you can let them go" "i've immortalized them on film!" ohh so meta

(this ep is Exciting in energy but i worry it's been half the runtime and Not A Lot has happened skldfj. like last ep altho things moved fast, and i can tell rtd is taking A Lot of exposition shortcuts, it still feels like most of the story has been setup rather than proper story, you know?)

"i've got a two dimensional brain" ok this is a good gag but: probably unpopular opinion: i hate how this whole episode is undermining old school classic cartoons tho :/// bro maybe the 60s hannah barbera schlop was bland like this, but there's actually a lot of character and gravitas to the warner brothers 40s-50s stuff (and even some of the disney stuff, esp the classics like bambi). and i rlly disagree with the implication of this medium-narrative that "current" cartoons are automatically better artistically because they've follownig some rules and formulas of """"sophisticated""" tv… it's just very myopic of the genre and how in taters it actually is today. esp bc execs have prioritized $$$ over craftsmanship and all you get in theatres is 3d sclhop (that is no, not actually more "depth" just bc it follows the """Pixar Principles""", it's as cooperative and sanitized in ways classic cartoons never were)

anyway DKFLJSDKLJF sorry for the rant. putting THAT aside. …. how telling that even this "more" depth moment the doctor isnt telling the whole truth (that he's trying 2 seduce belinda so she stays with him bc he can't be with himself).

huggg

"we've been framed" eyyy

lol they really couldn't afford more of the animated sequences could they

"i dont know how things are done in the caribbean" sdfkj

"he offered to help you!" oof. oof. dot and bubble motif.

"scrolling up and down does not work"

(i waved at them like a dork sdklfjds embarrassing)

this has SUCH send in the clones energy lol they even have 3 fans!!!

hashtag glee hates women

the hugggggggg TOT the dream!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THATS THE LITERAL DREAM

(bro that's a sick poster of the slugs from dot and bubble)

"blink" rolls eyes. judging these 3 guys' taste so much lol

(imagine saying that when 73 yards exists!!)

"yeah. but what does he not do?" "we don't know, tell us" "we can't!" "GOD YOU'RE SO ANNOYING" im loving this lol WE ARE ACTUALLY - lots of people say that" god bless

"we're the sort of characters who don't have surnames"

TIME FOR THE THIRD ACT

this is going down so hard wtf?? also the "illusions are real to us" my BELOVED trope <3 "you mean… you'll die?" "it's not death. we just end." "but… that is death" "yeah. but we're not important. it doesnt matter what happen to us" wtf im crying "it's been so worth it just to meet you" "and thanks to you i met my two best friends" ahh classic fandom beat

ok but: this scene gets me so much because i've always connected a lot with the "dreams / stories are Real to Us" theme, as i've said before in this post… first because they validate us daydreamers and ppl who need to escape the harshness of reality… and second bc that kind of theme rlly brings forth how deeply some of us can connect to fictional characters. and how real that can feel at times. it honors those (parasocial lol) relationships. BUT this episode i think brought it to a new level because it connected it to the "we're all stories in the end" theme. once we die, we're all eventually forgotten. and it's like a kind of second death. but it brings some comfort to us to think that we'll be remembered in our legacies and in the memories of people. (like how ppl connect with historical characters). it's kind of a way to "beat death" that's just, so human. y'know?

"then we might live on just a little bit" don't worry we'll write fanfic for ya'll!!!

(cheers to rtd bc he managed to do something new with a thing that's Been Done Before in xen,a supernatural, buffy, etc slkdfj)

(also these 3 guys had the sickest merch damnn)

hug!!!!!!

"or burns us to death :D"

the directing going off in this bit

"doctors always make the worst of patients, but trust me, i know what im doing"

"my hospital could do with you"

"you have light within you that builds a body" eyes emoji. children of time arc keeps going girlllls

i love how into the nuclear explosions the gods are lol

3d "liveaction" remake of my 2d cartoons be-loathed.

HE'S BURNING THE FILM. classic fans TRIGGERED

(this mechanic feels off tho sdklfj it feels like the doctor should have More energy than the sun… and going by rings of akhaten, more Potential Energy as well…. but ok whatever sdkfjsd )

"i am everything and i am nothing" oh this is such a good beat to literally '34934 times we've seen characters Ascend Cosmologically on this show sldkfj enlightenment means death in dw

"infinite. invisible. intangible.""amen"

this was exciting but what i feel is lacking in this season+special is for the characters of the day to be more interesting...… like yay for tommy lee's mom and the projector guy but i dont really Care that much sdklfjds. they feel too much like beats we've seen a thousand times, and work more on that level, rather than as specific new stories being told.

i disagree with lizzie im gonna give it a 10/10 just for sheer energy alone. and altho a bit short on time and with underdeveloped characters,... itdid get me to think about my own mortality. what more can u ask for our own fav scifi family show ?

that said after a lot of meta and self-referencing im glad we're going back to a straight forward base under siege dsfsdklfj pls pls next week have a good interesting crew that i can actually mourn once they bite the dust...

also i want more development and focus on belinda pls.

[hereticdrws]

Aquarium date w mizu

A/n: did I just narrate my visit at the aquarium and add mizu? Possibly did I use quotes from me and my sister? Also maybe anygays I hope yall enjoy ☺️🤞 should I write a real fic w this? I alr got 1 in the works cough cough baseball mizu

Warnings: NOT PROOF READ idk I don't think there r any but lemme know if there r

Loser!Mizu x (masc?) Reader I tried to make it v neutral but I kinda self projected

Enjoy 😉

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

◇Def spends wayyyy to long on parking trying to find the perfect spot no matter how many times she's been

◇Tells you the scientific names of all the fish on the banners on the way in that are used to attract visitors

◇Tells you every fish related joke she knows while waiting in line to get in

◇Cannot stand up straight in the line to save her life she has to lean (but I mean who tf doesn't why tf would I stand up str8 when I can lean)

◇Tries to convince u to let her bring a fish home (you're not even allowed to)

◇Took 1000 pics of the baby penguins

◇(Also asked to take one home)

◇Does not shut up abt the smell

◇Says every cute thing in the exhibit looks like you

Ex:

After walking past the toucan exhibit we make our way toward the baby monkeys per mizus request, walking hand in hand and shoulder to well head because lord knows mizu is tall as shit.

Once we arrive at the monkey exhibit for the first time since arriving mizu releases her hand from yours

"Omg babe it looks just like you!" She eagerly points out

"It does??" You raise an eyebrow at the 5'7 woman towering you, questioning her ecstatic expression

"Yeah!!"

◇Tried to provoke the toucan

"OMG Y/N ITS THE BIRD FROM THE MEME" spends at least 15 minutes trying to find the meme

◇Made you carry her hoodie bc it was so humid

"Babe I told you not to bring it 🙄"

"I thought it'd be cold ☹️"

"Why are there only birds I hate birds"

"Because we're in the bird exhibit babe 😐"

"oh"

◇Pouts when she can't find the animal in the exhibit

"Babe did you know poison dart frogs are poisonous?"

Dies

"Babe stop ☹️"

◇Stuck her hand in the water 'bcuz she can'

"I bet I could survive that jump"

"No tf you wouldnt?"

◇You had to pay for the slushies bc she forgot her wallet (which she definitely owns) ((she doesn't own a wallet))

"BABE THERES FUCKING CROCODILES"

"Dude there's a kid right nxt 2 u"

"Babe wtf"

"What"

"Your mouth looks like a traffic cone"

☹️

◇Constantly asked what would happen if she threw smthing at an animal

Ex:

"What I'd I threw my slushie at the crocodile"

"I'll disown you"

◇Looks in disgust at all the babies and children

◇I cannot express how much she'd compare you to ever cute animal in the exhibit

◇Leans into u when she gets bored like srsly u are supporting this woman's entire body weight

◇Do not forget how CLINGY she is (totally not self projecting) she would not let go of your hand, not to mention she is constantly pressed to your side esp when walking she is js leaning into you (same 😔) she cannot walk in a straight line for the life of her

◇Mizu is either the most shameful person you've ever met or the most shameless

No inbetween

◇The facts omg So. Many. Facts it's acc insane

"Did you know the 'type of animal' is acc a direct descendant of-"

◇Has a donkey Kong lanyard u drag her around by so she doesn't wander off

"Omg that's literally us in another universe"

(Pic credits go to yours truly 😌)

"Omg yn that's a stone fish the one from the meme 😁🫵"

"What meme?"

😨 (she only scrolls on YouTube shorts or insta reels) ((idk why she's shocked))

◇Constantly pointing out how ugly a fish is

"If it were human it could NEVER pull you"

"???"

◇Spent at least an hour in the shark exhibit telling you the scientific names of all the diff species of them and where they originated from

◇Millions of pics of them everytime a shark swam by at least 25 pics would be taken

◇Everytime you tell her to pise for a pic with one of the exhibits she either puts up a thumbs up with the dumbest smile you've ever seen or accidently flips you off then rushes over to you drowning your face in kisses and apologizing over n over

◇Sitting/leaning every chance she gets (and pulling u down w her every chance she gets) ((she is so clingy I can't express it enough))

"When do we get to go to the gift shop?" ◇She asked every 2 seconds if she's not telling you the most outrageous 'facts' she learned from who tf knows where

"That bird is big as shit 😐"

◇Tries to stand like a flamingo falls not even 2 seconds later claiming you pushed her

◇Literally RAN for the shark plushies once yall got to the gift shop

◇Could not decide which one to get so u js bought her all of them bc ur so sweet/you couldn't decide which one to get so she bought you all of them (whichever u want)

◇Got lost in the parking lot trying to find yalls car

◇Yall stopped at chic fil a on your way home

◇Once yall got home you both changed into comfy clothes and layed down and cuddled ofc yall cuddled with mizus ridiculous amount of new shark plushies

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

A/n pt2: thank you for reading I hope yall like this ☺️

[lunarriviera]

another thrilling spirealm update

henlo my friends yes it's that time once again where i tell you what is happening on the bizarrely named drama "the spirealm," i am at episode 25 having shotgunned it all weekend and i have thoughts, opinions, and a gabillion screencaps of ruan nanzhu looking stricken, i finally had to stop taking them because he has the exact same face of devastated yearning in all of them and i was filling up my cloud drive. spoilers ahoy! [parts one and two are here if you even care]

as just mentioned, ruan nanzhu spends his time looking either 1) icily indifferent (when people who aren't qiushi are talking to him and/or dying in front of him, to his vast annoyance) or 2) torn asunder by pangs of desire (whenever he's staring at qiushi, who's babbling obliviously about science or clues or absolutely nothing of any importance whatsoever). here is a representative screencap but he has this look on his face pretty much continually, like he's just been hit by a car. a car of love.

it makes me put my head in my hands and scream quietly, i haven't seen a BL actor who understood the assignment this well since zhang xincheng or maybe even z1l. (who all clearly not only read the novel but underlined it, highlighted it, and stuck in colored post-it notes.) when not busy with adoration, he swans around being magnificent in a frockcoat like he's edward rochester, while lin qiushi trails behind him wearing a fit he got out of the goodwill box in his college dorm.

in spite of being besties with a literal fashion icon, at no point does it ever seem to occur to lingling "hm maybe i should dress a bit more formally for my imminent demise inside the doors"—no, instead he proudly wears his ratty sweatshirt with holes in it. which i sort of think might belong to huang junjie. idk maybe qiushi trusts it, and feels safe in it, hey look at that i made it sad.

massive power couple energy. also notice how their outfits are exact black-and-white negatives of each other, the harper's bazaar wedding photoshoot would have been so goddamn lit.

taking a brief moment for a shoutout to this guy. chen fei i don't even know what your fate will be but i already know you deserved better. not only do you patch everyone up with your veterinary knowledge, but i have seen your unrequited love. it did not go unobserved. you would have been a great partner, you're unimpressed by everything and drink your soy milk with chilling apathy. i'm real sorry the theatre gay didn't love you back. you're too similar i guess.

back to lin qiushi who has the worst case of main character energy since harry freaking potter. somehow the game is about him??? he has trauma??? none of this was in the novel and i'm just pretending it's not happening until it becomes impossible to ignore. in the meantime he continues to sympathize with door ghosts because he's just that nice of a guy. (EXCEPTION: nanzhu literally murdered two competitors bc they threatened his darling, and lin qiushi helped him cover it up. i was appalled for like 5 minutes then i shrugged. it's a cutthroat game, the doors change people. also it's like captain mal used to say: if someone tries to kill you, you kill 'em right back.) i have big Theories about what is fixing to happen but for now i will end by relating that lin qiushi has gone into a door alone, because he wants to butch up and be a better partner for ruan nanzhu. and that would be a great idea and super helpful except that nanzhu IMMEDIATELY WENT OUT OF HIS MIND WITH BLIND TERROR. outwardly of course he gives no signs of this (other than hiring someone to protect his fragile boyfriend, which, if lingling figures this out, ruan nanzhu will be sleeping on the sofa forever).

here he is pushing food around his plate miserably at lingling's funeral pre-solo-door party. everyone is having such a fun time.

and here he is standing in front of the door waiting like a dumb wounded animal. i have a feeling if lin qiushi doesn't emerge at 15 minutes on the dot, nanzhu will simply expire on the spot, like a wolf separated from its mate. maybe that's the end of the spirealm JUST KIDDING, we still haven't gotten to the part where they're on either side of a different door wailing at each other. i really need lin qiushi to stop being such a cheery equanimous little frat boy and START SUFFERING, can we get some mutual pining up in this bitch. (also i need his hair to change in the traditional BL post-wedding hairstyle alteration because i can't remember at this point if huang junjie even HAS a forehead under that vast curtain of bangs)

to sum up, we've had a) sexy handfeeding of lychees b) tender cat fur removal from face and c) stalking your pretty boyfriend aggressively against the wall so you can…offer him a packet of disinfectant. in the novel of course nanzhu bites him and yes xia zhiguang absolutely knows that's what he's supposed to be doing here, we love to see it.

oh and also d) "i'll protect you. i'll protect you forever."

SOON: THE THRILLING CONCLUSION. IT'LL BE SO FUCKING SAD. PS unrelated to any of this but the OST SLAPS and i sing along every time now, that opening song is an unskippable cut scene of a banger

PS gonna be sad when [redacted] dies, he's a real card. and that other person dies too. and that third person. shit it's about to get messy

[just-a-shark333]

Dadbaccio Au chapter 3 finally!!!!

ehehhe im sooo excited its literally been like 4?? or 5 months since chapter two came out and so much shit has happened since then. My computer broke twice and i got really really depressed for a few weeks, but its finally here!!! so enjoy bc i dont know when chapter 4 will be lol

word count: 1,629

[chapter 1] [chapter 2]

Abbacchio’s kitchen looked similar to the rest of his apartment. The walls were a weird off-white and there were takeout boxes stacked in the corner of the room next to the trash can. It was minimally decorated with only basic kitchen appliances and an almost dead plant in the center of the kitchen table. Said kitchen table had about half of it covered in various papers relating to various cases he had been assigned in the past and had yet to put away.

‘I should put that away soon, especially if I’m going to have a child running around here now,’ Abbacchio notes upon seeing the mess when the two enter the kitchen. A child…Haruno was just a child, wasn’t she? A child that would be living with him in his house from now on. Did that make Haruno his child? Him her…dad?

Nevermind that for now, he pushes the thoughts out of his mind. They could wait for tonight when he tries (And likely fails) to sleep.

For now, the topic of dinner was what needed to be figured out. Abbacchio opens his freezer, looking at its contents for a moment before deciding to just throw a frozen pizza in the oven. It’d be easy enough, honestly, how could anyone fuck up a frozen pizza? Haruno was bound to like it, what kid doesn’t like pizza? And they could probably just heat up leftovers when he inevitably didn’t feel like cooking actual food the next day.

Abba takes the pizza out of the box and tosses it in the oven, not bothering with a tray or preheating the oven. He turns the oven on and returns to the topic of what to do with the mess on the table. And the chairs. One of them had disappeared to fuck knows where, another had made a nice home for some boxes he’d had laying around since he first moved in. The one on the clear side of the table was also clear of anything occupying it, as that was the one he actually used.

Abbacchio picks up the stack of boxes and moves them to the floor next to the chair. He then turns back to the chair, and scoots it over to the clear side of the table.

“You can sit down if you want. Food should be done in…15 ish minutes, I think.”

He watches as the girl makes her way to the chair and sits on it, looking up at him with something akin to fear in her eyes. Just what exactly had this poor child been through?

Abbacchio takes a seat on the empty chair next to hers. If he was going to house this child and take care of her, he really ought to get to know her a bit. At least know the basics, right? “Soo, what kinda things do you like?”

Haruno stares at him, her gaze as hard to read as it had been the whole time. She looks…confused maybe? A little scared? Sort of..contemplative. Overall complicated. He keeps staring back at her, waiting for an answer.

“I..um..i like ladybugs..most insects actually..” she looks a bit like she’d like to say more but oh well, at least she said anything at all. So. The kid likes bugs.

“That sounds cool. Know any cool facts about ‘em?” maybe he'd be able to push the conversation somewhere this way.

“Umm…did you know that ladybugs are carnivores? They eat other, smaller, insects.”

“Oh really? I always assumed they ate plants or..dirt or something.”

“Yeah! A lot of people assume that but actually, ladybugs eat a whole bunch of insects! In their lifespan, which is about a year, sometimes two, they can eat up to 5,000 aphids!” Haruno was really starting to open up now. Ladybugs were the key to her trust, he supposes.

“Wow, that's a lot. Got anymore?”

They spend the rest of the 15 minutes talking about ladybugs, and some other bugs Haruno thinks are cool. Abbacchio had never been big on bugs himself, but he thought hearing all those facts about them were cool. He also learns that Haruno likes frogs. Not quite as much as she likes ladybugs but she still likes them.

When the oven beeps signalling that their food is ready Abbacchio waits for Haruno to finish what she was saying before he gets up to go take it out. It wasn’t a lot, but he was kind of proud of how much progress he had made with her in the little amount of time they had been talking. He pulls the pizza out of the oven and sets it on the counter, pulling out a knife and cutting it into as even of slices as he can manage. He puts a slice on the plate he pulls out for himself, and then a slightly bigger one on Haruno’s. She probably hadn’t eaten in days, so she must be hungry…but, he hesitates for a moment, she hadn’t eaten for a few days so she might not be able to handle so much food…Abbacchio pauses to think about it for a minute before deciding to just give her the slightly smaller one that would've been his.

He makes his way back over to the table and sets down the two paper plates, one in front of Haruno and the other in front of his own chair. “It’s not great but it’s food, you can go ahead and eat if you want. I’m gonna go get us some water.” Usually he would drink a glass (or more, but he tries not to) of wine with his half-assed dinner but with a child in the house with him, he’d rather not. He pulls two cups out of his cabinet, throws some ice from the tray in his freezer into them and fills them with tap water.

When he turns around to walk back to the table he’s surprised to see that Haruno hasn’t even moved to think about touching her food yet. In fact..she looks even sadder and more worried than before their conversation.. All she did was sit there, staring at her lap. He walks back to the table and sets down their glasses. Maybe she just needed more reassurance..? Or she just really genuinely didn’t want to eat or wasn’t hungry? He’d try the first theory first.

“You can eat now. If you want of course, but you really should try. At least a little.”

Haruno gives him a hesitant look before slowly picking up her piece of pizza and takes a small bite out of it. When he smiles in response she picks up the pace significantly, as if he would change his mind and take it away the moment she stopped. It saddens him, but he still lets out a soft chuckle and starts eating his own piece.

“You can have another piece if you want.” he says as the girl nears the end of her slice. He sees the hesitation in her movement before she rapidly nods her head and eats the last of her crust in one bite.

From that point on dinner goes pretty smoothly. Haruno doesn’t talk much throughout it but she eats and that’s all that really matters to Abbacchio right then. As the two start to finish their last slices of the night he takes their glasses to the sink and tosses the empty plates into the trash, mind moving onto its next topic for the night: where would Haruno sleep? Bringing her into his home was a total impulse decision, one that he would do again, but one that he wished he had planned out beforehand.

He has a guest bedroom, but its current state was absolutely unlivable, from what he remembers of last being in it.. Haruno would just have to sleep on the couch tonight and he’d clean the room tomorrow. He goes and grabs some spare blankets and pillows from his closet, instructing Haruno to stay in the living room where they had both been previously. When he returns, he lays them across the couch, forming a make-shift bed.

“Ok. This is where you’ll stay tonight. I’ll try to get your actual room cleared up tomorrow, kay?”

Haruno hesitantly nods before sitting down on the undoubtedly uncomfortable mock bed on the couch.

“If you need anything at all, my room is at the end of the hall. The bathroom is the one next to it to the right. Don’t be afraid to come bother me if you can’t sleep, or get yourself something from the kitchen or whatever.” He does his best to come across as as chill and comfortable as possible, really wanting to get the point across that he doesn’t mind. Haruno, again nods her head without a word. “Alright, night kid. I’ll be in my room if you need anything.” He slowly turns to leave for his room, waiting to see if Haruno has anything to say. Once it’s clear she doesn't, he actually leaves.

Abbacchio doesn’t fall asleep for hours, only actually getting an hour or two of sleep the whole night. He had stayed up mentally working out the details of keeping this kid he found. He’d simply have to..adopt her? Yeah, there’s no way he’d willingly let himself give her back to her parents and they'd already eliminated putting her into the system as an option, but he also couldn’t just keep a child in his home without paperwork. He’s pretty sure that’d count as kidnapping. So, he’d simply have to become a father. How hard could it be?

(The answer was very, but Abbaccio would worry about that when he got there, for now, he just had to get this child to be at least a little comfortable around him.)

end notes: sorry i posted this on ao3 like a week ago, ive been kinda sick and tierd and bust and just havent gotten around to posting this here until now

[bernardsbendystraws]

rose bro you can hear me out in this i know it.

cause THIS ARE ACTUALLY good 2025 goals for their channel.

i really think video quality and the thumbnails really suck so bad. it’s their job, not a hobby and at this point they can put some effort into the videos. i know im not they only one that has seen they low attitude in some videos, if they don’t even wanna be there recording that video why i would wanna watch it?

thumbnails are UGLY. simply and direct. ugly, some of the pics they even use, fucking hell i can see the pixels motherfucker. if the don’t want to pay a person that edits and makes the thumbnails they can at least try to learn, IT’S THEIR JOB! so it’s not a waste of time.

Now back to the videos, i hate how they’re random cuts in the videos. literally every time matt or chris are going to say something, the clip cuts after they say they were about to say something. matt and chris have even said before “don’t cut this from the video” this is not hate towards nick, but hello?? i genuinely wanted to know, if you’re not leaving that at least CUT all the part 😭😭 then the new CAMERA LENS, sucks, yes it sucks i can count all the single pixel: some videos we got a good quality others simply suck. BRING THE OLD LENS BACK. Otherwise, the content, they really should be following tendencies as they did with the “hear me out cake “o “she’s a 10 but..” cause IT’S works, if they want views and interactions from a new public they have to do what people wants to see, and yes that’s how social media works.

Then the semi-last point it’s the interaction they’ve with fans apart from them calling idiots the matt girls, or simply insulting us for 15 minutes straight. bro, at least give us GOOD interactions, at the end of the day we’re the fans, i genuinely giggle sometimes but other times im genuinely confused why im being randomly insulted as an interaction. 😭😭😭

THE LAST one, kick out..fire their actual manager, i get laura is close to them cause she’s the mom of blah blah blah. Yes i DON’T CARE. that woman knows nothing about being a good manager; they really need to fire her and get an actual good manager that is willing to work and help them, a manager that would sit down and show them actually good and interesting videos a content ideas.

ex. this woman made a serie of videos giving them stream, car videos, podcast and video ideas:

https://vt.tiktok.com/ZS6C3LJMn/

https://vt.tiktok.com/ZS6C3R2DF/

https://vt.tiktok.com/ZS6C3LvsS/

https://vt.tiktok.com/ZS6Cc7Lpj/

Laura needs to fuck OFF. I hate that woman and I think she's weird as fuck - who has their client move into their house because their 16 year old daughter thinks they're fun? I can't get over it, it doesn't sit right with me at ALL.

They've always called people insane so I'm never really butthurt about it because they're never really talking to me directly - usually they're talking about the actual weird people who are parasocial and shit lol.

I love the complete random cuts lol, my brain stays entertained trying to keep up. I don't know shit about cameras, but I agree that I like their old one better. ( but I legit don't know shit so take that with a grain of salt )

To me, it looks like every other Youtube thumbnail. I don't really care for the thumbnail tho so lmao

I think the attitude is sometimes an issue, but also sometimes not. I really do get it though. But I also LOVE when Nick just starts screaming bc he's so frustrated and he rants about something so stupid that they all end up laughing LMAOOOO

But I totally get what you mean!!!! It's okay to feel that way! At the end of the day, you can't really control it, but RANT AND VENT AS LONG AS ITS NOT HURTFUL!!!!